Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
