why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
