he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize