dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
