what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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