He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize