Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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