He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So here I am, sexting at work.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
