Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i dont even know how to be here
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
