I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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