Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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