people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize