so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Randomize
