The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
