I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
