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• (909): View more from California

  dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  So much rum. So many feels.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.

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• (510): View more from California

  I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?

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