I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
