things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
