Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
