yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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