i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
