I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
