I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
