Christians are straight up FREAKS
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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