He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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