Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize