The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
