Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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