Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
