I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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