I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
sarcasm needs its own font
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
