The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
