I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
