What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
