I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
