He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize