Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
