Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
