I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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