if i died would you start the facebook group?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I need to align my fucking chakras
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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