I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
