talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
