I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
