we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
