as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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