Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
