I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
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