there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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