Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
