Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
