She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
