Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My ATM looks so different sober.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
