why didn't you poke me back
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
