this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
