Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
