He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
