i just google imaged poop.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
