i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
