We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
