So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
