I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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