Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The ass gains better be worth it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
