I wannas sexs uuuuu
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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