they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
