We won't sleep together?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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