Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
