Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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