i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
