I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
