What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
