Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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