As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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