Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
