Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she peed on how many people?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize