he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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