On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
