i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
