Just fell off a train. Bad.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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