Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Randomize
