He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
