i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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