There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
