So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
