am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
