butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
