His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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