I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
