He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
