Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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