i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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